Written in Arabic By:
Dr. Fadi Abu- Sal
Adrenaline Batch graduate/3rd batch 2015-2021
Translated by: Dr. M.A. Awwad
Hi there, Iam Fadi Abu-Sal. Iam writing this article while I am celebrating my graduation from school of medicine/ Yarmouk University, Thanks God, Iam a happy fit healthy and optimistic person. It's just wasn't as cool as it is now. I had a hard personal experience while I was a student. I'd like to tell you my story just to let anyone who faces hardships during his life know that the keys for success and happiness are inside him and around him.
My story is about that horrible disease, which in my society, people try not even to mention its name, they call it the bad disease. I am a doctor so I'll call it as it is ( Cancer) The story started when one of my minute body cells inside my chest decided to grow by its own with no control. I was then in the start of the fourth year , just in the introductory pre - clinical course. I had some symptoms at the time around the final exam of that course. The symptoms were profuse sweating especially at night, general weakness all over the day, shortness of breath, my heart beats were fast and pounding and my weight was gradually dcreasing. At that time that naughty small cell became a mass of 9*13 cm in the mediastinum; which is an area inside the chest cage. I told you before that I was in my pre-clinical course, I had no clue then that it could be a cancer, I only thought of pneumonia as a cause of my symptoms. Maybe if these symptoms started few months later , I would have gussed the diagnosis. I was sick and I went to seek a medical advice, frankly speaking; my aim was to get a sick leave because I was unable to go to the university everyday. The surprise was that I was diagnosed to have a cancer.
First I was confused. It was a shock. I asked myself 'WHY? WHY ME? Was it a karma? Maybe this a punishment for a bad thing I have done. I had so many questions to get answered. I knew it was not my fault. I believed it was a test from God who loves me and I thanked His Highness for the good and the good that I see as bad. I was almost ready. My family lives abroad and they didn't know about my new illness. It was so hard to tell them those news. I wanted to be seen by them as a strong man, but in fact from my deep inside I was frightened. They wanted me their family doctor and I was then the family patient.
It was hard to be punctual at my classes. Everyone advised me to drop the semester as it is impossible to cope with university time and the treatment plan together, especially that I live in Amman more than 80 km away from my medical school. and the hospital is in Amman too. I decided to keep attending my university classes.
I was admitted to King Hussien Cancer Center in my birthday as a rare case of mediastinal seminoma, I was the case no. 155 in the world. The doctors decided first three cycles of chemotherapy , but later they increased them to four in a period of 5 months.
I started the first dose on Feb 2nd, 2019 I was then in my surgery rotation at school. I continued Chemo throught the pediatrics rotation and the last dose was in my internal medicine rotation. I attended classes as much as I could. My day then used to start in the early morning by moving from Amman to Irbid to attend the rounds in the teaching hospital then I used to go back to Amman directly to the King Hussein Center when there was a scheduled followup visit , a visit to emergency if i had side effects or for an admission to receive my chemotherapy. At the end of that long day I used to go home eat and sleep.
I remember holding my study slides while in my chemo bed with one one hand as the other was busy with IV cannulas and chemotherapy introduction. I wanted to spend the boring 5-6 hours with anything I could do.
The time was awful as if death was staring at me. Nausea and vomitimg more than 30 times in few hours. Nose bleeding throught the day even the water and food I take tasted as metal.
Cancer patients needs support from anyone, even if this support is minimal. One of my friends ( Yazan) shaved his head to support me when I lost my hair because of chemotherapy. Presence of Muhannad, Gharaibeh , Salah , Al-Baw and Qutada beside me during that hard time, even by a breif phone call asking about me was a major support and a big favor in my life. My group in the university , my doctors and many others did their best to support me too.
The most important supporters were my family . A word or a smile of anyone of them used to make my day and to change my mood to the good side.
After all what happened to me , my views towards life have changed. I believe now that I have to live simply, seize every opportunity in life to enjoy the moment. I appreciate every minor thing I do even if it was a cards game with my friends. because no one knows if the coming day will be the same or it will carry a surprise that will change his life 180 degrees, and then he'll chew on these past moments and wish he didn't lose them with anger and sorrow.
I learned from this experience that everything in our lives is good eventually, even if we see it as bad for the first time. Because future will tell us day by day what was good in what we used to see as bad. then we'll laugh at ourselves.
May God keep you and your beloved ones away from diseases and pain. ❤
written in Arabic by:
Fadi Abu-Sal
Adrenaline batch 2015-2021
Translated by: Dr. M.A. Awwad